Sounds cliché right? However, don’t underestimate the truth in this expression when it comes to beating porn addiction. You can try to quit the exact same way a thousand different times and fail every single time… or you can expand your knowledge and make informed changes to your approach after each failure until you succeed.
There are several different types of knowledge that are useful for overcoming pornography addiction. The first is the knowledge of other people’s experiences. To know that other people are going through the same thing you are and also to know what is different about their addiction and their struggle with that addiction. Learn about what worked for other people as well as which approaches didn't work. There are some great resources mentioned in my other blog posts, but here's a few more:
- Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction is an excellent eBook in PDF form written by a porn addict. It is very informative and easy to read.
- Porn Addiction End is a good free website with stories and videos. Written by a former porn addict it has some firsthand experience.
- Love and Pornography: Dealing With Porn and Saving Your Relationship. This book provides some insight into someone else’s journey while also addressing how to deal with porn addiction in the context of your own relationship. A great read for how to talk with your significant other about the addiction.
Another useful type of knowledge for porn addiction is to learn as much as you can about how the addiction works. If you are going to move past the addiction in your life, first you need to understand how it works and why you have been struggling to beat it. Again, my other posts have some great resources but here’s a few below:
- Ted Talk: The Great Porn Experiment by Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow. This is an excellent talk about porn addiction and the effects of porn addiction on your brain. The speaker cites several brain studies to demonstrate how porn creates an addiction through a chemical dependency in your brain.
- Your Brain on Porn is a fantastic site managed by Gary Wilson. A great resource on the addictive properties of porn and how it affects your brain, including withdrawal.
Another useful type of knowledge is to really understand what porn is. You might be thinking “I know what porn is, it’s sex”. Well… not exactly. Porn is supposed to be sex, I’ll give you that much. However, if you really think about it porn is not like real life sex. Some key differences include the money (making it more akin to prostitution), the acting (in other words, it is fake), the participants are usually strangers, the lack of intimacy (kissing, touching, love), and the male dominance/ disrespect of the women. A few resources:
- Ted Talk: Why I Stopped Watching Porn by Ran Gavrieli at TEDxJaffa 2013. This is a great talk about how porn watching affected the speaker personally and his thought process for quitting. He also highlights the differences in real sex versus porn as well as the exploitation and prostitution qualities of porn.
- Ted Talk: Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop at TEDxOxford. This is an interesting talk about the difference between porn and real sex. Cindy goes in depth about her new website which focuses on sharing videos of real world sex.
These are some great places to start. Another great resource is to gain some firsthand knowledge from talking with other people about porn addiction. Some great places to meet porn addicts include support groups such as PAA and SAA. Another great place is an online forum such as the ones at Porn Addiction Info and the forum at No-Porn.com.
Finally, not all knowledge has to be painful. Explore what you want to know more about. Do deep research to answer the questions in your own mind. Alternatively, you can kick back, enjoy yourself, and watch Don Jon (while soaking up the knowledge of course).
Got some suggestions of your own? That’s what comments are for. Duh?!